Still Waiting

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

wahh... today learnt loads of things. firstly, i learnt how to make candy floss!!! it'll web up your hand. and it'll fly around. only the person who makes it knows, but the those who buys dont know. because the flying candy floss lands on the person making the floss's head. also, the person making the floss cant resist the temptation of candy floss so he/she takes a few bites. and den the person gets fat. thats wad i've learnt. great huh?

ms ouh got dengue fever and is in hospital. lets pray for her quick recovery. hmm. CO tmr. but i dun dare to take leave from job anymore. haizx. so have to skip the camp. maybe after work den go back to camp. but no boat. cant swim there oso. so have to skip the camp. haizx. nxt day oso. dunno wad time the boats start work. den camp ends at 12pm. and den oso dunno wad time the boat goes there. so sian. so dunno when to wake up to go for the second camp. sianz. sian sian. job needs to wear jeans. den go camp cannot wear jeans. can wear shorts. den have to bring clothes. sianz. zzzz

Oh ya. at work. got one stupid irritating guy keep asking his frens to ask for my number. shit him man. he's those kind who woo u until u agree, den break off with u after 2 weeks. nah. so beng. i dun like him. anyway he's ugly too. shld look at his reflection in his own pee. k i very mean but he really sucks. i like guys who are honest. no nid very handsome but average can liao. brainy guys. humorous. loves me with his heart. not brains. thats all bah. must be taller den me! cannot shorter. haha no nid very tall, cos i not very tall oso. onli 161cm. sobz. haiz. working is damn boring. with pple like them. argh~. haizx. my time zone had been switched. i slp in day n wake up at night. die. maybe cos i nv sleep in msia, tts y my time zone turn upside down. sianzzzz....

argh. nothing much today le. except i love the feeling of giving candy floss to children!! they smile at you and look at you collecting the floss using a paper cone. so cute. so sweet. haha. and the smile they give you when u pass to the the floss. it feels great. maybe i'll reconsider about my decision not to have children in future. argh. children are cute. really cute. but when they pass the cute stage, they become irritatinggggg... den u cant stand them. so maybe i wun have children in future after all. maybe i remain single. better. ahaha.. hmmm.. maybe nxt time government will give money for getting married. so maybe i'll get married. but husband will get irritating, so maybe i wun get married after all. ok fine wadeva~

ok last night there was a miracle. he came and talked to me. this is mad for me. it feels so impossible. i dun wanna fall for him again. he'll break my heart, i know it. maybe he just doesnt wanna lose this friendship. yeah. that's it i guess. i dun think he will visit my blog, dun think he bothers to. so it SHOULD be safe writing it here. lol. i guess he still loves her. i dunno. and i dun wish to know. i wanna forget everything. as if nothing has happened. that's a nice solution, but another way of saying would be escaping from reality. wadeva den. i dun care much. i wun let love affect my lifestyle anymore. NO. i rather distribute the love equally. in case i regret. just like my granddad. haiz. i wanted to say i love u to my grandma, but no courage. again. i'm always like that. sigh. the day i went back to spore, i almost cried. but i dun wan. i hide in a corner and try to leave unnoticed. i really miss them alot. dun feel like leaving them ever again. well wadeva. let these sad things be bygones. anyway i'll just try my best not to fall in love. hmmm... maybe till i'm 20. yeah. den can concentrate on studies. sigh. still remember when i'm in sec 2 and 3, everytime i have a crush, i'll say. nvm wait until o lvls are over den consider a relationship. but den, (its kinda silly) the other one didnt like me. also, by the time o lvls are approaching, i've already had another crush. and they will not know i've actually liked them before. this leads to confessing.

confessing. wads tt?well. to put it simply, it's just letting the other person know how u feel towards them. BUT. if confessing was so easy den the world will have much much less troubles and worries. confessing, is not an easy thing. it is demanding. it wants COURAGE. now, courage is not a thing that is always there. courage is not easy to muster. (ok dunno how to spell). also, imagination is another hindrance. becos pple tends to think wad the consequences will be after they confess. they may get rejected, so they dun confess. this leads to other pple feeling they are unloved. and then they becum coward-ly and are timid. and the idea of confessing to a crush will be a blow great enough to kill them. thus they dun confess. den this cycle repeats. and the world is getting more and more unloved. how sad.

kk i'm signing off. think tmr will be more interesting. die die. i m now back to the fatness right after o's.
DIE. I M GETTING FAT AGAIN

-when are you coming back? ;